People often have trouble telling me about their own hurts because they know what I’ve gone through with losing a child. I don’t want this to ever be the case. Grief is a strong emotion as a result of various painful experiences including rejection and betrayal.
Please welcome Cate from Blessed Reject as she shares what she has learned during some very hard times in her life.
Grief as a Result of Severe Rejection and Betrayal
Severe Rejection and betrayal result in serious loss, and with that comes grief. The grief we feel must be processed. The pain, finding a way to forgiveness and the path to overcoming becomes our job.
You will thrive again.
Grief is a subject that those who have experienced the tragedy of losing a child know too well. I have not gone through anything that heartbreaking personally, most of us have not.
However, grief comes with the job of being human and living in this world.
The anguish of the loss of human relationships through severe rejection or betrayal does not compare to the shocking loss found in the death of a loved one. However, it produces grief just the same.
We all experience grief on some level. Sometimes intensely.
Learning to be vulnerable in our hurt is helpful and will often lead to deepened relationships.
Being vulnerable is something most of us avoid at all costs. It is scary and can be painful, and why would we even want to go there? Especially when suffering from severe rejection and betrayal?
Instead, we choose, to withdraw and cocoon within ourselves and work very hard to keep our fragile wounds safe from further damage.
Allowing Others to Help you through your Rejection & Betrayal
However, if we can allow even just a few trustworthy friends or family into the pain we are dealing with, and trying to process, it is incredibly helpful.
This is a time in your life that you find out who is a real friend.
Firstly, having someone outside of yourself share their perspective can be enlightening. Their experiences and wisdom can provide deep insights into your situation.
This is one of the beautiful ways our Saviour speaks to us; through others. He can nurture us through a friend or family member even as we are grief-stricken over another friend or family member’s betrayal.
However, it can be complicated to trust anyone if you are in a situation of having been hurt by someone you completely trusted. Consequently, you look at everyone with a suspicion that they don’t really care about you. That they could any moment put a knife in your heart.
Without a doubt, I believe that God will provide you with discernment in your time of need about whom to turn to.
Grief is a part of our experience. And when we choose vulnerability and open up, we begin to grow in our sorrow and slowly move past our anger and defenses.
The Bewilderment of Rejection & Betrayal
It is shocking how, in a few moments, your life can change. The shock, bewilderment, and confusion of how people can turn on us are absolutely overwhelming. We feel profoundly raw and wounded initially.
Yet, slowly with time and a desire to overcome a freshness and newness creeps in. We begin to see who is committed to walking beside us in both the storms and sunny spring days. We begin to see that there may be blessings in our severe betrayal and rejection.
Trusting God to feel a painful void is a lesson to embrace.
He may send you someone unexpected – be open to His leading. Regardless, we learn to trust God, accept and forgive others, grow in our own strength and resilience, and in the wisdom of living a life for our Creator alone.
Moreover, through sharing our grief and pain, we allow and accept others to help shoulder this burden of severe rejection and betrayal with us.
Consequently, this helps us process our own hurt, obsessive thinking, knee-jerk defenses, and feelings through the love filter of a trusted someone. Indeed, it can feel quite awkward to unburden ourselves, especially to someone we know has there own struggles going on.
However, it is essential to remind yourself that you would without any problem, do the same for them.
Don’t get in the way of what God intends.
When we are willing to ask for someone’s shoulder, to share the hurt in your soul, the pain someone has inflicted upon you – we accept the gift of comfort that He sent.
How has God helped you through the pain of rejection and betrayal? What Bible verses bring you comfort during these seasons?
Cate Leach is blogging over at www.BlessedReject.com, sharing the joys and blessings; along with the pain and difficulties of rejection and betrayal. If you are looking for a supportive group to help you through rejection and/or betrayal, you can join Blessed Reject, Overcomers FB group.
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