I am so excited to have Mary from Butterfly Living here to talk about feeling lonely as a mom. I know that I went through a lonely period when my first three were very young. I was exhausted, a little overwhelmed, and in need of encouragement. I will let her tell you about her experiences and the lessons we can reap from them.
The word loneliness reminds me of those times in my life where there is a hollow, empty spot that can’t be filled. During the early years of motherhood, this feeling of loneliness was a persistent companion. I quickly realized that other lonely moms were all around me.
During a sermon, one of our pastors posed the question, did Mary the mother of Jesus experience loneliness? I hadn’t thought of Mary as a lonely mom experiencing the same emptiness I had.
When reading the story of Jesus’ birth, it is hard to focus on Mary and her feelings because of the wonder of the immaculate conception and the fact that she was the mother of the savior of the world.
I wonder did Mary feel vulnerable, afraid and lonely with her assignment to become the mother of the son of God? Did she need encouragement for loneliness? Did she know other lonely moms?
Lonely Moms Can Encourage Each Other
Being a mom is lonely for many of us, but we can encourage each other.
Mary had a visit from an Angel to ease her fears and explain her selection to become the mother of Jesus. After this visit she leaves to visit her relative Elizabeth.
“Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus.” Luke 1:30-31 NLT
“A few days later Mary hurried to the hill country of Judea, to the town where Zechariah lived. She entered the house and greeted Elizabeth.” Luke 1:39-40 NLT
While visiting Elizabeth, Mary writes her song of praise, the Magnificat. Mary’s time with Elizabeth may have fed her inspiration to create this hymn of praise to process and express gratitude for her divine assignment.
Elizabeth is honored and joyful with Mary’s presence and Mary remains in her home for 3 months. It must have been a time of refreshing, encouragement and mutual anticipation for both of these lonely moms expecting babies with world changing missions.
Being lonely moms huddled together probably provided Mary and Elizabeth comfort.
“Mary sings, “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed.” Luke 1:46-48 NLT
Just like Mary, when we experience loneliness, a visit from the Holy Spirit and time spent in the company of other moms helps provide encouragement for loneliness.
If you are a lonely mom, you may not pen a song or poem, but your spirit can pivot from a place of loneliness to a place of praise. Read more lessons Mary has to teach us.
What are good Bible Verses for loneliness?
We’ve talked about how lonely moms can encourage each other but there is no substitute for finding peace in God.
There are many Bible verses about loneliness that provide hope and comfort for our spirit. Here are 8 Bible verses for lonely moms or anyone in a season of loneliness seeking comfort from God.
Deuteronomy 31:6 NLT
“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Isaiah 41:10 NLT
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Psalm 68:5-6 ESV
Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.
Psalm 62:8 MSG
“My help and glory are in God, granite-strength and safe-harbor-God. So trust him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be.”
Joshua 1:5 NLT
“No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.”
2 Timothy 4:16-18 ESV
At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever.
Romans 8:31 NLT
“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?”
Matthew 11:28 NLT
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Can Loneliness be Positive?
I have had many opportunities to answer the question, Can loneliness be positive? Sometimes loneliness has been a positive time in my life and other times it has been harder to process and understand.
Each stage of being a mom has brought a different type of loneliness that has led me to find encouragement in Christ.
Everyone experiences loneliness, but being a lonely mom is one season of loneliness that is particularly worth addressing because it affects moms and their children.
If we walk through loneliness connected to Christ, it can be positive and cause us to reflect and lean on God to nourish and fill our soul.
When I was a new mom we moved to a new state. I had never experienced such an overwhelming sense of being alone. The constant pressure to meet the needs of my new baby while juggling being a lonely mom was a struggle. But through this season I learned that loneliness can be positive.
I discovered new strengths, grew closer to my husband and learned to rely on God to meet my emotional needs. I met other lonely moms who became friends as we banded together to form a “village” where we shared the highs and lows of motherhood.
Although I consider it a desert experience there was life changing rewards that came from being a lonely mom.
Encouragement for Loneliness Quotes
Here are six encouragement for loneliness quotes that inspired me and may help other lonely moms see how loneliness can be positive. Motherhood is lonely but it doesn’t have to be.
“You can never learn that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.”
Corrie Ten Boom
“COME TO ME with your gaping emptiness, knowing that in Me you are complete. As you rest quietly in My Presence, My Light within you grows brighter and brighter. Facing the emptiness inside you is simply the prelude to being filled with My fullness.”
“If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is; an opportunity to get to know you, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but you for your happiness. You will realize that a little loneliness goes a long way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful you.”
“Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space.”
“A lonely day is God’s way of saying that he wants to spend some quality time with you.”
“To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude.”
Henri J.M. Nouwen
Encouragement for Lonely Moms
My hope is if you are a lonely mom, in any stage of motherhood, this post will provide insight. The worse thing we can do as moms is isolating ourselves physically and emotionally.
Remember our most important identity is found in Christ above all other titles we hold. God has a purpose for each of us as moms and as His children.
If you need encouragement for loneliness, pray, read the Bible, join a mom’s group and open up to a safe person about how you are feeling.
Jesus can and will fill our lonely spaces with His peace and love.
Would love to hear if you struggled being a lonely mom and how you overcame and grew!
Mary Rooney Armand has been on a life long journey to discover her Identity in Christ and help others do the same, and believes we were all created to live freely and thrive in our relationships and purpose. She created the blog ButterflyLiving.org and has a Bible Study titled, “Identity” available on Amazon. Formerly, she directed a mentoring program for children, Kids Hope USA, and has led multiple mission trips to Honduras. Mary is a life coach and has a Bachelor and Masters degree. She and her wonderful husband Cory live in New Orleans with their 4 children and 3 dogs! Connect with Mary on Facebook and Instagram!